I have taught many of my clients about the importance of understanding your Core Values. They are the absolute foundation to creating real relationships… and I mean any relationship. We spent much of our adult life frustrated and riddled with bad decisions because we are consistently compromising on our Core Values. The strange and often irritating part of this equation is that we are usually compromising and not even knowing we are.
I often talk of having a “Blue Collar” Mindset… one that makes decisions based on emotion, fear, guilt and shame… and forever trying to be nice instead of fair. Well part of that Blue Collar Mindset is that all we have is emotion, fear, guilt and shame. We were never given the proper tools as children to understand what our Core Values should be… so we don’t have any concrete or real reference to make the right decision… Real Core Values are the foundation to making every decision. If the decision you are about to make compromises what you truly believe in… then it will without any doubt be a bad decision and can lead often times to a wrong decision.
I have to back up a little to help you understand the difference between a “bad” decision and a “wrong” decision. A bad decision is usually one the can be rectified within a very short amount of time (think of it as making a right turn instead of a left). A wrong decision winds up distracting you from your real goal or true direction (think of this as marrying someone when you were drunk in Vegas). One has very minimal consequences and the other has recurring and sometimes devastating consequences. The first takes minutes to get back on track… the latter can takes years to recover. Big difference.
Back to Core Values… imagine having the power to make every decision the “right” decision. It’s not impossible. When you write down and truly understand what your “CORE VALUES” are, it makes it nearly impossible to make a bad decision. As long as you ask the question, “How is this going to enhance my life and does it compromise, or go against any of my core values?” If the answer in “no” to “enhancing your life” or “yes” to compromising on Core Values… than it’s an easy decision to say no. If you are honest with yourself and have a true grasp of your Core Values, you can immediately see how your life can automatically be void of frustration, disappointment, and anger. If you can’t… read this over a couple more times until it clicks… download and more importantly, listen to the .mp3 below (it was recorded during an actual session I did with a client). I have also included a “Core Values Worksheet” to download and print so you can begin your journey to making better decisions.[audio:creating-your-core-values.mp3]