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The Fat Virus…now the drug companies can come up with a vaccine!

By on January 27, 2009

When I heard some of my liberal friends talking about how former President Bush totally screwed up science and scientific research I thought my head was going to explode because it just sounded like more “Bush” bashing.  Liberals in general love to find some way to bash on the Bush’s but this time I’m in total agreement.

Now researchers have found a virus that causes you to get fat?  How many more excuses are “researchers” going to give “fat” people to blame their size on.  Now what’s going to happen?  Are the Drug Companies going to start making some “fat vaccine”.  So that every child will need to be vaccinated against the dreaded fat disease.  Haven’t we gone a bit too far?  Now fat is in the same league as Polio and Mumps?

Now I really think my head is going to explode.  65 % of America is now fat because someone sneezed on them and gave them “Fatness”.  You’ll have people talking around the water cooler, ” I feel sorry for Bob, he caught “Fatness” from someone in the office.” “Yea that “Fatness” is really going around” “I wish that suzy would just go home, I don’t wanna catch that “Fatness”.

Here’s a couple of tips to building your immune system against the horrible “Fatness” disease:

1) Build your immune system from eating dark green leafy vegetables

2) Eat more fruit

3) Stay away from meat laced with saturated fat (you may catch it from the piece of meat)

4) Exercise at least 30 minutes a day combining resistance training and some type of aerobic training

I know what you’re saying…”Rocco you’re a friggin’ genius! You found the cure for the “fat” disease!”  I know, it’s a miracle I can stand in the same room with myself.  My brain is so big I can barely keep my head from falling of my shoulders.

Listen to me my friends, Romans and countrymen and women.  Please do not buy into this crap.  All of this “research” is a Public Relations attempt to scare or cajole people into thinking they are fat because they caught something. Now that you have been bombarded with all this news media telling you so, the drug companies can now bring to market a “pill” to manage or cure the Obesity epidemic.

Now you will never need a Personal Trainer or have to exercise ever again because “Doctors” will be the only ones to be able to cure it.  Nice try.  I have seen the stupidity that embraces bariatric surgery.  Thousands of dollars to cure your fatness only to be left with a life of literal starvation.

Oh, shit I just had another epiphany! You want to lose weight fast? Get your ass out of the the chair and stop eating garbage and maybe you won’t catch the “fatness” disease.  “Whew, that Rocco he’s a smart one.”

Masamba Zuberi says:

Don’t get me wrong, I hate fatasses too.

Masamba Zuberi says:

Did a older fatass beat up Rocco when he was a kid and make him vow to never let that happen again so he worked out and got big and now he is venting his frustrations about fatasses?

Liz Donnelly says:

You leave me speechless! I cannot believe the greed of these drug companies and the smoke screens they erect to make some money. It would be big time money, too! Because how much do you want to bet that they’re trying to use some botched up remedy and rebrand it as the fat-killing vaccine? “Aspartame as a former nerve toxin turned “diet” sweetener? Sounds great. We’ll make millions!”

“Why not xyz concoction turned fat vaccine?” While you’re at it, here’s my brain and individuality. I think I’ll line up with the other sheep for my flu vaccine (yeah, this ever-mutating virus is made with last year’s strain. Shhhh. Don’t upset the herd!).

Rocco, thanks for pointing out stupidity yet again!

Liz
http://www.twitter.com/LizDonnelly

Sounds to me like they found an excuse to push yet another drug to the people.

This is rediculous!

You know what the hell is going on here? There is a market for people who live their life on a freakin’ crutch and the researches and doctors are tapping the hell out of it.

Get real!

If anyone EVER tells me that they got fat because someone sneezed on them, I’ll fire them on the spot…even if they aren’t my client!

Donovan “DFitnessguy” Owens
http://twitter.com/dfitnessguy