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If your kid is FAT…you should be arrested for child abuse.

By on May 9, 2008

Imagine if you will, me, sitting in the waiting room of my doctor’s office wasting the good part of another gray and rainy day here in good old Cincinnati. Side note: I’m kind of surprised there aren’t more suicides here, like Seattle. There I am, waiting for the nurse to call my name so my doctor can tell me not to come back for another 15 years like the idiot always does. I am not ill or contagious with anything I just make an appointment every year on or around my birthday to get a physical. I started this ritual back when I was 33 because I had to get something called “Key Man” insurance for my company askROCCO Media. In case some hateful fat person decided to “whack me” me my investors wouldn’t sign the papers without it. So there I am waiting, listening to the best of the Bee Gees and Olivia Newton John. I guess that’s supposed to be calming but all it did was make me want to jump out of my chair and strangle some little annoying rug rat and his mother.

Now the reason for strangulation was not actually the annoying tapping or throwing of the “BaBa”, no I can handle unruly behavior, shit!, I’m the King of it. No, strangulation is a very well thought out form of homicide as well as a harsh way to go. So, if I’m contemplating strangling someone it better be rich.

The “BaBa” throwing kid’s mother is conversing with the nurse about how hard it is to keep her kid, who can’t be more than 3 years old, from gaining weight. That it is too difficult to go to work each day…this is what I’m listening to…work 8 hrs, cook, clean, walk the dog, pay bills, shop, and a host of other things that were laughable. She was literally too busy to make sure that her 3 year old, that’s right 3 “F**kin’” year old child, had healthy food. She’s too busy to cook for him. He’s 3 years old, how much food is he consuming, tell me…a side of beef, maybe he ingesting small puppy’s that visit the backyard. How much? I probably shit more than he weighs. So it can’t be that much. What is she feeding him that he weighs nearly 30 pounds more than he should? I don’t even know how much 3 year olds weigh anymore, 20 lbs, 25 lbs. She gotta be feeding him “Hot Pockets” by the truckload! …So this kid weighs nearly 50 lbs…the size of a small woolly Mammoth at 3 years old and his mother can’t control his eating. Did I tell you, this kid’s 3 years old. What parent in their right mind can’t control the eating habits of a 3 year old? Is the fast food fairy coming in and serving up juicy flame broiled junior whoppers to our little friend. Is he getting them served his way? Who is this elusive fairy, I want a piece of her (or him depending on how you roll) too.

If you can’t find the time to make sure your child, whom you bore and gestated for almost 10 months, than you need to rip out every last sexual organ you have left. Or cut the penis off the man who is not helping you, because you need not procreate…EVER. This is a travesty that children who cannot take care of themselves are left to die horrible, ill stricken, embarrassing deaths because their idiotic parents didn’t have the time or wherewithal to care about the health and welfare of their child. Make no mistake allowing your child to get fat is CHILD ABUSE and should be punishable as such.

Lawmakers again, get your heads out of your ass and start mandating that parents actually become responsible for the children they bring into the world. Maybe the children can grow up healthy and not place such a burden on the already obliterated health care system.