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I love Lipozene and the bullshit it represents…

By on January 12, 2009

…only because I can blog about how friggin’ stupid and idiotic the commercial actually sounds.

Lipozene is supposedly this miracle cure for your fat self.  As I listen and watch the commercial that comes on about 6 or 7 times an hour on every cable channel on my TV, it literally curdles my blood.  I’m telling you right here, right now… that I am all for capitalism.  I love it! It is what this country was founded on until the communists … um, I mean…democrats decided…well that’s a whole ‘nother conversation ;-).  I really can’t believe that congress actually lets TV stations off the hook for airing this erroneous shit.

The makers of Lipozene have been in so much trouble with the FTC on the two other “miracle fat loss pills” they advertised and scammed us into believing was the second coming of “fat loss” that they were ordered to pay huge fines. Check it out, if you don’t believe me: http://www.ftc.gov/opa/2005/06/fiberthin.shtm

Lipozene declares that it is “clinically proven” take 78 % pure fat off of your body.  What I want to know is what is the other 22 % of the weight that Lipozene is supposed to be taking off, hmmm…muscle, horseshit…maybe your hair.

78% sounds like a lot but when you look at the bottom of the screen… in the teen, tiny…microscopic print that blinks on the screen.  It actually states that the subjects in a University, double blind study lost and “average of 3.85 lbs over the 8 week study”.  How the hell is this even a conclusive study?

I shouldn’t be proud of this but I know that I could easily SHIT 4 lbs in a single day!  Does that mean that I should go and tell people about my new “High Fiber…Shit 4 lbs in a Day Magic friggin’ Pill”?

The answer if you weren’t paying attention is…HELL NO!

A pill that can guarantee you to lose 3.85 lbs in an 8 week period should not only be laughable but someone needs to start holding the TV Stations accountable for allowing this craziness on TV.

Click on the following link to check out the indictments and lawsuit the Federal Trade Commission brought against and won pertaining to the “Obesity Research Institute” aka the makers of Lipozene:

http://www.ftc.gov/opa/2005/06/fiberthin.shtm

Ags says:

You made my day LMAO that’s some funny as hell stuff . I’m 80 lbs over weight don’t know how I got there marriage was first then a job change that went from very physical work to not so much .
I tried a lot of these so called weight drugs none of them work .. For me if you want something that will make you take anger management keep trying them it’s a natural side effect !

I have two bad knees now so exercise is somewhat out . If you have any ideas send them my way LOL 🙂

Jorge Getson says:

Wonder where the merical capsule they discovered was.
Growing on a capsule bush, vine, tree what?
I’ve been around a long time and I’ve been in a couple rain forests, and most of the Americas. Nowhere have I found any type of plant that grows capsules.

Jorge Getson says:

What is a real pisser is you pay to watch this shit.
They turn up the volume to something between six and fifteen DBM increase in volume. By they way it is now illegal in the United States to up the audio levels on commercials. You can fill out an on line complaint about it at, “www.fcc.gov.”
They are one government run organization who is at least paying attention.
I have gotten paper mail regarding reports on DirecTV audio abuse.
Thank you FCC!

Now for Lipozine stupidity.
Note they say, “Scientists have discovered a capsule” etc.
Uhhhh what jungle did they find a capsule tree, bush, plant or what growing?
Uhhh what is the difference in body fat and just fat????? duhhhh.

OK so we know what body fat is???? Uhhhhh OKAY

So Lipozine removes stuff from your body, which 78% is body fat.
Hummmm what’s the other 22%?
Another thought.
If this shit is making your body loose this much mass, “fat, shit, bone, muscle, brain cells???” What else is it doing?
If swallowing this crap causes weight loss, “excuse me fat loss” just how bad are your poising your self and how.

The way to loose fat is to consume it via exercise. Eat less.. etc.
It’s simple math. More input than you use will be stored. It will be stored as fat. So eat less. Eat smarter. And put down the computer game and do something that does more than sitting on your fat butt.
One of the very best exercises in the world that is low impact and not hard on your back is a good ole fashioned double ax cutting wood.
So having grown up very poor. Having no indoor plumbing or electricity etc.
We heated with wood stoves and two fire places and cooked on another wood stove.
All the wood was cut with an AX.
It made me the strongest kid in school from about fourth grade until high school when we moved to a large metropolis with a population of 3,200.
We now had indoor facilities and electricity.

So now I’m retired. I moved to the deep woods because I hate city living and everything about it. Especially the idiots who have never lived any where else.
Living here I use my AX to get dead wood here to my back yard.
I never fell or use live trees.
I do cheat a little though. I cut the dead wood into long sections and drag them home with my little Yanmar tractor.
I then set them up in a framed room that is enclosed so as not to loose any chips from my ax. I then cut the wood into small pieces that can go through my wood chipper. I use the wood in a home built wood gas generator which I use to power the chipper and my 15KW generator.
My light bill before I started using my generator was in the $250.00 to $320.00 per month. If I am completely diligent on making wood gas my bill should be zero. Being nearly 70 years old I now get lazy and run out of chips about once every three months.
But these are the average results. Light bill about $130.00 averaged over the year. Weight loss since starting my project, Wait for it….
Here is is. I weight 265 lbs when I started.
I now weigh 199 lbs. You do the math.
I lost 23 lbs in about three months at first.
Then it took the rest of the year to get to 210 lbs.
My arms which were losing muscle as expected for an old man have filled back out.
when I started I was having a bit of trouble lifting my 16 inch wheel and tire to mount when changing a flat. It’s much less strain now some four years later.

So exercise, eat less, eat smarter. Forget the idiot diets and groups etc.
Just get off your ass and use what you were born with. A marvelous body and hopefully a brain, and just a little common sense.

See ya fatty

Unpleasant Truth says:

Supposing you truly could easily shit 4 lbs in a single day. But, can you shit 4 lbs of BODY FAT in a single day?

Lisa says:

Such a scam and full of trickery! I cannot stand this commercial either and am so glad I found your video, thanks! If I had enough money I would have my own commercial promoting oranges, walnuts, rye crackers and other healthy snacks ( you can also walk to the store to purchase these, some pounds off in the process )

Anytime I see a commercial that is promoting diet supplements, medical cures, etc…I run to the computer and type the word “scam” after the products name and each time I discover it is!

Steve-you’re killing me! It is awfully hard to see that small print on the TV…but it is clinically proven…I’m really not sure which university…maybe the university of Bagdad…or the University of a small island in the Pacific.

FYI- My “take a 4 lb shit diet” costs 3 easy payments of $14.95 but if you order in the next 10 minutes I will take one of the those payment away. Then if you are still stupid enough to buy my product I will keep taking money every month until you are forced to cancel your credit card so I don’t keep screwing you out of your hard earned money.

I see that commercial all the time, I have to pause it to be able to read the fine print. I couldn’t believe that their big “clinical study” only resulted in less than 4 pounds in 8 weeks. I laugh every time I see it.

Why are these TV and cable companies putting this crap on their channels? Where is the responsibility on their part? Is the money impairing their judgement?

P.S How much is your “take a 4 pound shit” diet plan? 🙂

Steve

Kelly Olexa says:

I’m so glad to hear you on fire about this crap. I cannot stand to see the BS that these companies put out there. 78% of your body fat?? The #s are so made up and obscure it is like cosmetic ads that say, “79% of 40% of the respondents saw a 92% decrease in the APPEARANCE of 40% of the wrinkles covering 88% of their face” Right. LAME.

Liz, you’ve no idea how many people will get suckered into getting it unfortunately.

Here in Bulgaria, the situation is the same. Infomercials are full of crappy weight loss junk. Most of the stuff they sell are super cheap Chinese-made training devices and such that they charge $100-200 for!

Yavor.

Liz Donnelly says:

Rocco-
Awesome! Lipozene, I think, doubles as a hairball formula for felines. So, maybe that other 22% comes out in the form of vomited hairballs.

Would anybody trust a product with a name that sounds like paint thinner?
-Liz