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Airline Hazards…Fat People and Ugly Fat Flight Attendants

By on June 11, 2009

fat-flight-attendantI’m sitting here stuck in the Dallas Airport because of another friggin’ American Airlines delay. I try so hard not to take American Airlines but they’re the only airline that gets me out early…or supposedly. My girlfriend asked me why I always fly out a day before I’m supposed to be anywhere…”isn’t it a waste of time?” I wish I didn’t have to but the reality nowadays is that I might not make it that same day. I can’t believe how awful air travel has become.

You sign up online for a flight and it’s like playing the lottery and the odds are really against you. I literally have a better chance of getting hit by lightning twice than getting on my scheduled flight anymore. Most of the people traveling remind me of scenes from “One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest”. Everyone talking to themselves in low grumbles, barely audible, cursing like they have turrets. Even the people who have turrets look healthy in this environment. It’s getting pathetic. You smile and say hi to someone…especially in the South and someone wants to rip your head off. So much for southern hospitality!

I got on my plane and was squished against the window…the seat was built inside the window I think because when I sat down my shoulder hit the window and my head hit the top of it. I’m not the tallest person, actually midgets talk down to me…o.k. not really but I thought it was funny. The problem is that midgets would have a real problem in this seat. A couple of minutes went by and no one showed up at the seats next to me and I was hoping no one would…but those hopes were dashed when a man about 350lbs with shoulders as wide as mine waddled on up to the seat next to mine.

As he sat down next to me I tried to embed myself into the window…but I was much too large. This guy was literally lowering himself down into his seat, I was waiting for the beep…beep…beep noise to start coming out of him. As he stuffed himself into his seat he decided it was a good idea to spread his elbows out across the armrest…I am already swished against the window…so I had to say something.

I asked if he could move his fat arm off of mine and his answer in a very calm tone was…absolutely not! So I waited a few minutes to see if he would move it and he did not, instead he started sweating on me. Now I’m no expert on bacteria but when some fat person is sweating on you it’s pretty friggin’ disgusting…I don’t care who you are.

I pressed the flight attendant call button to get some help here and no lie, a women in a flight attendant uniform came over that was as old as Joan Rivers, looked like the now deceased Redd Foxx and weighed more than the guy sitting next to me.

I knew then that this was going to be a long flight

us-airways-crashI asked if I could be moved because the guy next to me was literally sweating on me…and I showed her the disgusting sweat that was on my arm and elbow. She told me that the flight was full and that I should have booked something in First Class. Does American Airlines hire people with absolutely no social skills on purpose or are they just scrapping the bottom of the job pool for flight attendants?

I read a post the other day about fat, ugly flight attendants and the blog author quoted that the US Airways flight attendants that saved everyone when the plane crashed in the Hudson were all over fifty. I believe that’s fine but when you are too fat to get out of your own way or when your hips are wider than the aisle, it’s time to find some new work or “get your hips a little narrower” then the aisle.

christy says:

Um…I am not a flight attendant, but you are clueless. 15 hour work days 8 hour layovers…oh yeah plenty of gym time. So many healthy places to eat too at hotels and airports. No wonder they are fat. FYI…the skinny ones are all (and were) cokeheads. I have many aircrew friends. That is reality.

ken says:

They should invert the pay. The older (more seniority) you get, the less you get paid.

James says:

I travel to Asia for work several times a year. I always fly on Asian airlines because of the superior service and beautiful, young, humble, polite, and petite flight attendants. I love them so much that I actually married one. On a recent trip back to Asia, my wife cried when I informed her that we would have to fly on United because my company already booked our flight. She is actually afraid of the fat, disgusting, and arrogant flight attendants on American carriers. I felt so sorry for her that I booked another flight on Thai airways and paid for it myself.

Chris says:

Guess what people. If your that unhappy with the appearance of the flight attendants and hate to fly take a bus. I agree I’d like to see some eye candy as well. Eye candy at the hospital, in the government, in the news, on the street well just every where. It is a shame that everyone in the world can’t meet with your idea of what is attractive. And as far as the age of the flight attendants what are they to do quit when YOU feel that they have passed your maximum age requirements. Should everyone in every profession be beautiful, thin, and young? What are we to do with all the old, fat, and/or ugly people? I’m sorry but you seem to be a bigot and I dare say one of the reasons that people aren’t nice, to you!

CuriousChild says:

I understand the fat part, but what does ugly have anything to do with being a flight attendant, it’s not like they chose to be born ugly right?.. seriously so people have to be super models to be flight attendants? How bout some hot guys working as a flight attendant? I’d like some eye candy myself…

I’m with you. If we have to endure all the bullshit that the Airlines throw our way everyone should get some eye candy. Great comment.

Jamie Sulc says:

C’mon Rocco! Don’t you know we have to accommodate all the fat people, it’s not THEIR fault!?!

This post fired me up and pissed me the f*%k off!

I am sick and tired of having to cater everything to people that don’t take themseleves, not exercising and eating the shittiest food possible. How dare that guy wedge you up against the window and when you politely ask him for a little more room, he may as well have told you to F*$K OFF!
Then the fat lazy flight attendant told you the same thing.

I could go on and on about this post because I see things like this everday that make my blood boil! I’m just tired of fat people thinking they can just take up as much space as possible because their fat with no regard to the people around them. Keep up the good work Rocco. Sorry for the rant but I just had to get it off my chest!

Don’t ever apologize for ranting. That’s all this blog is…one big rant!

Faye Oney says:

Hey Rocco, my late father used to complain about the flight attendants. My parents traveled all over the world, and he told me that when they started flying in the sixties, the flight attendants were young, cute, in shape, and had pleasant personalities. Today, the flight attendants are all fat, ugly, and have bad attitudes; but the airlines can’t get rid of them because of their union status. So mom and dad stopped flying, bought a van, and traveled all over the country. If my dad were alive today, I’m sure he would enjoy your blog!

Joe in Columbus says:

Whoa: that “turrets” thing sounds pretty wicked. Is it anything like “Tourette’s”?

🙂

Just bustin’ ya bawls, Joy-zee (which exit?) Dude!

…just to let you Midwesterners know…It’s “Breakin”, “Breaking” or “Break” your balls! Not “Busting”!

rocco@askroccomedia.com says:

I don’t want “super gorgeous” I just don’t want fat flight attendants whose fat hips hit my arms when they are on my lap… and maybe average looking.